Frost after midnight

"The only way out is through." --Robert Frost

Finally getting it, sort of

I remember once, not more than a few years ago, I complained to my parents that we were expected to go to school in the beginning of our lives, rather than the middle.  The middle would be better, because we would know enough to appreciate each moment of learning, but we'd not be so old to be unable to continue learning (if we wished to) or to use what we learned. 

It occurred to me that, finally, I'm learning to luxuriate in classes.  Not so much the classes themselves, I guess--my English 50 course this quarter is dull and predictable in its approach, but the material is both unnerving and somewhere between "pretty" and "beautiful."

The learning, though--I'm getting it.  It's nice to feel that stretch in my mind that happens right before something clicks, to listen to someone vocalize something I'd have never thought of and feel the new thought raise goosebumps as it settles into my skin.  It's nice to work hard, to really work hard and make one of my stories better than anything I could have written a few years ago and to know that it's better than anything I could have written a few years ago.

It's just a shame, you know?  I'm finally getting it--I'm understanding what's so great about school, but I've only eight weeks of it left. 

Maybe that's why we send people to school for so long, though.  It takes us a while to get why it can be so wonderful, but after that it's time to move along--like we shouldn't get too used to living with something wonderful, but we should know how to look for what's wonderful in whatever comes next. 

2:15 AM

Lying in bed at 2:15 reading an e-book for class (“The Marriage Plot”) and a train goes through the Goleta station. Probably only two or three miles away if you’re a bird. Possibly as many as four or five with roads.

The train whistles, which isn’t an unusual sound come nighttime, but then I hear it clatter through the station without stopping. Wheels on the tracks, thwacking away without fading for several long and quiet minutes. It’s quiet outside except for that noise.

Then the clatter starts to fade, and a gaggle of happy, screaming drunk girls bike by. I half wonder if they know it’s Tuesday. More importantly, though, do they remember any words beyond “oh my god?”

There is no such thing as writer's block.

Especially when it’s a personal (ish) blog.  And especially when there’s really quite a lot going on.
I’m teaching a class—excuse me, a “student-led colloquium.”  Not supposed to call it a regular class since I haven’t gotten my degree yet and since I’m not getting paid to do it, but I designed the class and the curriculum, everyone enrolled is getting two units (half of what a regular UCSB course will get you), and I have absolutely no oversight.  The advisor has already said she was willing to be my advisor on paper as long as she didn’t have to show up to the meetings (I’m disinclined to call them “lectures.”  “Discussions,” maybe). (Sssshhhhhhh!)

Which is just as well.  I’d be way more nervous if she was there, and there’s way too much pop culture and genre fiction floating around in our discussions for her to enjoy any of the sessions, anyway.  (Ssshhhh again!  Shame on us academics-in-training, enjoying discussions about genre fiction and popular villains! /sarcasm.)

There are way more first years than I was expecting.  There are even a couple of comp-sci and chemistry students, which just about floored me in the middle of class.  It might be silly, but I was expecting more third- and fourth-years, and no one but literature students.

This is better, though.  Definitely, definitely better.

SOPA changes name to CISPA

Ugh.

Nyquil turns me into a lump of useless flesh. I always forget that until it’s too late.

On the other hand, it’s never too early to go to bed when you’re sick.

There’s someone legitimately muahahaha-ing outside my window. It’s kind of entertaining.

The weather has lost its mind.

That's really the only explanation.  There is snow visible in the hills (when they're not obscured by massive grey clouds), the wind is literally whistling through the apartment, it's sunny with raindrops all over my windows, and there is a tumbleweed--an actual tumbleweed, guys--blowing across the parking lot. 

I'm kind of loving it.  Mostly because it's fun to watch while I'm snuggled up under my NHS blanket (the one the paramedics gave me when I blew up the kitchen) while I'm pretending to study for my exam.

Wow, scratch the sunshine bit.  It suddenly started pouring.  And there are people wearing shorts and hoodies sprinting across the parking lot.  hahahaha!

Monday (tomorrow) marks the official start of finals week, I think.  (If it didn't officially begin on Saturday, that is.  Dunno.)  I've got an exam on Tuesday, my last essay is due Wednesday, but hopefully it'll already (magically) be completed and I'll get to head home early.

It's sunny again, by the way.  And the rain has stopped.

Spring break is only a week this year, so by April 1 I'll be back up in Santa Barbara slogging through the first week of my last quarter (!!!!).  I'm teaching a writing class of my own creation on Friday afternoons called "Villains in Fiction," and I'm... sort of already freaking out a bit.  Mostly because when I'm supposed to do some kind of public speaking and I get nervous I talk too much.  Gaaaahhhh.

It'll be fine, though.  It's alllll going to be fiiine.

The sky is now completely clear.  I really don't understand how.

After 244 Years, Encyclopaedia Britannica Stops the Presses

futurejournalismproject:

From the NY Times:

After 244 years, the Encyclopaedia Britannica is going out of print.
Those coolly authoritative, gold-lettered sets of reference books that were once sold door to door by a fleet of traveling salesmen and displayed as proud fixtures in American homes will be discontinued, the company is expected to announce on Wednesday.
In a nod to the realities of the digital age — and, in particular, the competition from the hugely popular Wikipedia — Encyclopaedia Britannica will focus primarily on its online encyclopedias and educational curriculum for schools, company executives said.
The last edition of the encyclopedia will be the 2010 edition, a 32-volume set that weighs in at 129 pounds and includes new entries on global warming and the Human Genome Project.
“It’s a rite of passage in this new era,” Jorge Cauz, the president of Encyclopaedia Britannica Inc., a Chicago-based company, said in an interview. “Some people will feel sad about it and nostalgic about it. But we have a better tool now. The Web site is continuously updated, it’s much more expansive and it has multimedia.”

244 years.  Wow.

...Can't remember anymore

It's been kind of a long day.  Week.  Quarter?  I'm ready for it to be over.  Finished an essay on the intrusive gaze of the viewer in Mary Cassatt's paintings this morning about fifteen minutes before it was due.  Eleven pages.  Printed it out, rushed off to class, turned it in.

There isn't much going on these days.  Not that's interesting, at least.  School.  Writing.  Trying to see how long I can go without actually making a trip to the grocery store.  Still trying to get published.  And make sure I'm going to graduate.

Although it occurred to me--not for the first time, but definitely with a degree of clarity that hadn't yet presented itself--that I shouldn't just settle down in whatever job I can find after graduation.  I should actually try to use my degree, my writing skills, because then I'd look better (on paper) for grad school.  Which is definitely going to happen, just not right (write) away.  (hardy-har-har.)

And now I get to worry about pictures for graduation announcements.  I keep getting flashbacks to all the useless hoops you jump through to graduate from high school.  Ugh.  Yes, I'm proud of myself, but I'm not sure I understand why on earth it's such a big deal.  I'm pretty sure I'd be quite pleased with a tasty and massive pig-out session at a nice restaurant with my family and--actually, I don't know what else I'd want.  Graduation's just in time for all the summer blockbusters.  Maybe a free movie ticket?

Clearly my standards are sufficiently low to get by on whatever. 

God, I need sleep.  I hate long essays.  I started the research for that paper almost a week ago, and I stillend up writing and fixing stuff up until the very last second.

I wish I had junk food.

It's all downhill from here.

The MLA has officially devised a standard format to cite tweets in an academic paper.
(via cmonstah:warbyparker)

The first thing that popped into my head was high schoolers learning MLA format and trying to reference Kanye or... I don't even know, some other irrelevant celebrity in an essay.  I find that mind-boggling and not a little unsettling.